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[Theo9902]

這關係到你我下一代的未來 文╱陳津穗

屬於草莓族的兒子即將退伍，最後一次放假，一進家門就說：「買輛車給我吧！下禮拜，我要開車回部隊領退伍令 。」役期近兩年，能安然而退，身為父親，按說該高興才對，沒想到我卻心情低沉，思前想後，久久無法回應他的 請求。記得送他入伍時，耳提面命他注意言行，軍令如山，不得輕忽，他卻不改輕佻地說：「國家靠我去救，一定 毀了！」我殷切期待，他經歷軍隊磨練，可能會較成熟穩健，事實上依然故我，不禁長嘆，難道這就是所謂一輩子 的牽掛？

上班領薪？三萬幹啥 年年考試？父母撫養
他回家後，丟下行李就想溜，我輕聲問他：「退伍後有什麼規畫呀？」他成竹在胸答：「k 書準備參加十月的考試啊！」他可算得精，以考試之名，申請延後入營，足足玩了三個月；現在，他要故技重施， 算算，又有幾個月好混了。
看我陷入沉思，他倒過來勸慰我：「爸，您不用操心，家裡多我一人，也不過加雙筷子而已。」話說得可美啦，事 實不是這麼回事。猶記得，我常常張羅好飯菜請他入座，他探身一瞧，轉身走人：「我吃泡麵。」我算了算，桌上 大大小小有十道菜，辛苦的老媽還在廚房揮汗如雨，聽兒子要泡麵，氣得差點提菜刀追出來。
當兵期間，他返家一定帶回大包髒衣物，老媽邊洗邊搖頭，我還得不時說「以色列戰士的母親驕傲晾征衣」的故事 來安慰她，而兒子那種永遠長不大的心態，教人擔心。
在家，日上三竿，老媽去催駕，兒子說：「人家晚睡，幹嘛要早起？」母親問：「那你能這樣過一輩子嗎？怎麼一 點都不急？」只聽他灑脫的笑：「急？急什麼？妳去探聽一下，我們這屆法律系兩班，有幾個人在上班？就算去上 班，每月不到三萬元的薪水能幹什麼？」
母親焦慮再問：「那你總要努力準備吧？」他顯得不耐的答：「考試那有這麼簡單，有學長考了十年，還在考呢！ 」如此不是擺明要父母再養他十年，先預告，請不必沒見識，不要如此大驚小怪嗎？他翻身睡到自然醒，那管母親 的長嘆。

手機不新？被偷最好 機車壞了？扔天橋下 聽他口吻，讓我想起他大學四年用手機、換機車的行為。
他讀書學費父母全包，吃住在家，每月另支一萬元零用錢，卻入不敷出，非要去打工，收入全用在無謂的消費上， 像手機通話費，至少兩三千元，動輒五六千元。
而且每當新款手機上市開始廣告，他就恨不得趕快丟掉手邊用的；有次在網咖打工，手機被偷，他不但不怪竊賊， 還心存感激的說：「真謝謝他偷得好，正想換支新的。」
另一件事是，有天晚上，他搭計程車回家：「爸，幫我付車錢，機車壞了，丟在路邊。」接著，上演除非包計程車 接送，否則沒新車、上學免談的戲碼。我與老妻，尋尋覓覓，好不容易找到丟在天橋下的機車，推好遠去送修再騎 回家。
老妻一路開罵：「這就是你教的好兒子？」

買鞋虛榮？一定名牌 找他優點？事態嚴重
他的交通違規罰單，更讓郵差送到手軟，違規事由五花八門，例如未戴安全帽、違規停車、闖紅燈 ......有一次，罰單出現「棄車逃逸，逕行舉發」，如果不是繳納罰款才領回被交警拆走的車牌，我還相信 他所說車牌被偷，而且天天催他報警呢！
至於打工，薪資還沒進帳，要怎麼花已計畫好，只要今天領錢，明天鐵定不見人影，散盡錢財才拖著疲憊的身子回 家。他不是月光族，應該叫日光族才貼切！
他追求時尚名牌更是不在話下，尤以運動鞋非名牌絕不穿，他的理論：「我不是虛榮，你總不願見到你寶貝兒子的 腳受傷吧？」所以，父母親買三百九十九元的地攤貨，兒子買價近十倍的旗艦級精品，是理所當然，好像中外古今 皆如此，否則怎配當孝順的好父母？
有次與老妻私下檢討，是否該多鼓勵少責難，妻遞給我筆和紙說：「要鼓勵總該找出優點吧？來，給你十分鐘，把 你寶貝兒子的好德性列出來看看！」不瞞你說，我用超過妻給的時限好幾倍的時間，竟然寫不出一個字！我猛然驚 醒：「事態嚴重！」
兒啊！老爸急於告訴你的一句話是：「你不會永遠只有十七歲！」快點醒過來吧！

【 2004-07-07/聯合報 /e6版 /繽紛】
12個寵壞孩子的方法

1.有求必應 打從孩子出生開始，你就給他所有他要的東西，如此一來就算他以後長大成人，他還是會倔強的認為所有的一切都 是世界欠他的。

2.他出口成"髒"你一笑置之

當孩子講出不得體的話甚至口出穢言，你卻只是笑了笑，這將會使他認為自己很可愛他說的話很討喜，你的反應不 外乎是鼓勵他下次再挑些更討喜的話來講。

3.從不訓練他精神獨立

從小一切幫他打點好一切事情由你來負責，等到他20歲時再突然告訴他"自己決定吧!"我們不難想像孩子們對這種突如其來且遲來的恩准，反應會是:"#~%&^...."。

4.從不告訴他你錯了

如此將造成他日後嚴重的罪惡感，若我們一直避免把錯字冠諸孩子的不良行為，一直不告訴他孰是孰非，待某日他 抵觸了法律，犯下了父母再也無法替他掩飾的罪行，他還以為整個社會都與他作對，是他自己受到迫 害。

5.替他收拾所有弄亂的東西

像個名符其實的老媽子一樣地跟在他後面，撿起他丟再地上的書鞋子髒衣服，幫他整理房間做東做西 打理一切， 養成他日後推卸責任，將別人的好意當成是理所當然的惡習。

6.毫不限制他的讀物

小心啊!雖然碗筷洗了餐具消毒了，孩子嘴巴吃得乾淨，腦子吃的卻是垃圾。

7.常常當著孩子的面吵架

日後父母離婚了家庭破碎了，你也不用為孩子麻木不仁無關痛癢的反應感到震驚與不解。

8.當他的搖錢樹

若金錢對他們而言太容易到手，想買東西時只要他們搖一搖吵一吵錢就掉下來了，不讓孩子明白金錢是要靠自己的 努力去賺取的，如此要他們如何能了解"錢歹賺"，如何使他們能有正確的金錢概念。

9.滿足他所有的口腹之慾

當你自始至終永遠滿足他的需求時，你會發現一次的拒絕，就足以對他造成傷害極大的挫折感。

10.永遠站在他這邊

站在孩子這邊固然是好的，但要永遠嗎？當孩子真的犯錯時呢？你能想像這種心態 ----都是別人不好他們都對我的孩子有偏見，會造成他日後一生多少問題嗎？永遠站在孩子這邊，永遠教他與鄰居師長 警察對立，不過是提早讓他走上不歸路罷了。

11.我就是拿他沒辦法

當孩子們闖了大禍犯了大錯，若你只是一次又一次拿這句話來搪塞，替自己的不是找藉口找台階下，孩子們以後如 何能尊重你呢？他難道不會想：" 既然沒辦法那就乾脆讓你一輩子都沒辦法好了"。

12.準備過悲慘的一生吧

想寵壞你的孩子嗎？想培育出不負責任的下一代嗎？很簡單，照著這 12條法則去做，保證你一生會是悲慘的!

[Theo9902]

Meeting, meeting, and meeting.

[Theo9902]

Model of a Modern Corporation Organisation

[Theo9902]

Very useful for heart attack, read it.........

[Aquarian]

Girl was forced to be naked by police during custody. Her picture taken using police Hphone & circulated thru internet. So bad ah people these
days...too much!

[Aquarian]

opss sorry i forgot to attach her photo, hope it is not too R rated :eek:

[SniperY]

Meeting, meeting, and meeting.Sebei jialat
:confused:

[Mystique]

very useful info on heart attach preventive measures...:)

[Aquarian]

meeting is only good for bosses to get things done and subordinate to do the job :D

Sebei jialat
:confused:

[Theo9902]

experience talk! No wonder you hardly work :D

meeting is only good for bosses to get things done and subordinate to do the job :D

[Theo9902]

sounds scientific to me and I think should be useful. :)

very useful info on heart attach preventive measures...:)

[Theo9902]

Fandi Ahmad and wife lend support to public awareness campaign on sex

By Joanne Leow, Channel NewsAsia

SINGAPORE : Celebrity couple Fandi Ahmad and Wendy Jacobs are putting their faces on a campaign to help couples deal with problems they may have in bed.

The campaign aims to promote a healthy love life between couples, and encourages discussion on erectile dysfunction.

It hopes to help men and their partners overcome communication barriers when seeking treatment for their erectile problems.

The couple will be involved in various public events and be featured on information sheets in clinics islandwide.

The global educational campaign uses simple questions and visuals to put its message through.

"I've checked, I don't have ED (erectile dysfunction). But when you are in your 40s, you might have one sooner or later. And it's our way to help the public, especially the men, be open enough to speak to their wives or to their doctors for advice if they have this ED problem," said Fandi Ahmad.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/imagegallery/store/phppnzBV0.jpg

[Theo9902]

If I have a wife like Wendy Jacobs, I don't think I will have ED (erectile dysfunction) :D

[Theo9902]

to all parents...


Ulcers in the mouth and on the thumb.

(Photograph courtesy of KK Women's and Children's hospital)


Hand-foot-and-mouth disease (HFMD) is caused by the Coxsackie virus and
Enterovirus 71. The throat and tonsils develop small ulcers while the hands, feet, and diaper area are affected by a rash with characteristic vesicles (very small blisters). This is usually a mild illness with the rash healing in 5 to 7 days.


Blisters on the palm and fingers. (Photograph courtesy of KK Women's and
Children's hospital) HFMD is spread from person to person by direct contact with the nasal discharge, saliva, faeces and fluid from the rash of an infected person. Both adults and children can be affected, but young children below five years are particularly susceptible.

Symptoms

fever

sore throat

ulcers in the throat, mouth and tongue

headache

a rash with vesicles (small blisters, 3-7 mm) on hands, feet and diaper area. The vesicles are typically on the palm side of the hands the sole side of the feet and very characteristic in appearance loss of appetite


Blisters on the soles of the feet.
(Photograph courtesy of KK Women's and Children's hospital)


Treatment

There is no specific treatment for the infection. Symptomatic treatment is
given to provide relief from fever, aches and pain.

Treatment with antibiotics is not effective and is not indicated.

Acetaminophen can be used to treat fever. Aspirin should not be used in
viral illnesses in children under age 12 years.

Salt water mouth rinses (½ teaspoon of salt to 1 glass of warm water) may be soothing if the child is able to rinse without swallowing. Ensure an adequate fluid intake because swallowing may be painful. Extra fluid is
needed when a fever is present.


HFMD in Singapore

HFMD is present all year round in Singapore. Outbreaks do occur in childcare centres, kindergartens and schools. HFMD became legally notifiable on 1 October 2000. Although usually a mild disease, it has been associated with fatalities usually due to complications involving the heart and nervous system.


Advice for parents

Parents are advised to consult a doctor early if their child has symptoms of
HFMD. They should also be alert to any change in their child's normal behaviour, e.g. irritation and sleepiness.

Should they refuse to eat or drink, have persistent vomiting or drowsiness,
parents should bring their child immediately to hospital.


Prevention

Children should be kept away from crowded public places (such as schools, preschools, play groups, markets and public transport) if they show signs of infection. Family members are advised to follow good hygiene practices, including frequent hand washing, to limit the spread of the infection.

This emailer is brought to you by HPB's Resource Development Department.

[Theo9902]

Another one:

[Theo9902]

Last one:

:(

[Aquarian]

( Taken from another forum)

完這篇文章，讓人蠻辛酸低，從小到大，父母為我們付出許多，而身為小孩的我們卻不知感謝，有時候，回頭看看 滿頭白髮得父母親，臉上已出現許多皺紋，有時候，你可能只是一通電話，簡單的問候，父母可是會開心很久，在 異鄉遊蕩這麼多年，每次遇到麻煩，不管全世界如何看你，在父母的眼中，你是他們的小孩，永遠長不大的小孩， 在此，我要向媽媽說聲『謝謝你』，『母親，我愛你』希望在外工作的遊子，趁著父母親還健在的時候，多跟他們 聊聊天吧！相信他們會很開心低～～～～ 阿修



媽媽的帳單

小明家是經營餐廳生意，有時放學後他會到餐廳幫忙，招呼客人入座點菜收拾碗筷、算帳結帳。
他漸漸覺得自己似乎也成了一位生意人。



有一次，他忽然突發奇想，也開了一張帳單寄給媽媽，索取他在餐廳幫忙作事的酬勞。

幾天後，媽媽收到這份帳單，上面寫著：



１．洗碗盤費500元
２．掃地拖地費200元
３．送外食到顧客家300元
４．至郵局寄發信件帳單100元
５．小明一直是勤奮聽話的好孩子100元



共計1,200元


小明的媽仔細看過這份帳單後，什麼話也沒有說。


晚上小明在他的枕頭旁看到了他所索取的1,200元報酬。

正當他得意如願以償，要把1200元收到自己的口袋時，突然發現枕頭旁邊還放著一份給他的帳單 。


小明欠他母親如下款項：


１．在母親家裡過十年平安無憂的生活費用0元
２．十年中，食、衣、住、行的費用0元
３．上學的學費、書籍費0元
４．生病時的醫藥、照顧費0元
５．有一個慈愛的母親0元



小明讀著讀著，感到羞愧萬分！



過了一會兒，他懷著一顆忐忑不安的心;躡手躡腳地走近母親，將小臉藏進母親的懷中，小心翼翼地把那1,20 0元塞進了她的圍裙口袋裡。





對媽媽好一點

很棒的文章----

看完後要對媽媽好一點，珍惜愛妳的人，當妳來到這個世界，她以手臂輕抱妳．妳則以哭個像妖怪的聲音來謝謝她



當妳一歲時，她餵妳也替妳洗澡，妳則以長夜大哭來謝謝她
當妳二歲時，她教妳走路，妳會謝謝她，當她叫時溜得特別快
當妳三歲時，她滿懷愛心的做飯給妳吃，妳則以滿地食物來謝謝她
當妳四歲時，她教妳繪畫，妳則以滿間的彩色來謝謝她
當妳五歲時，她在假日將妳打扮的漂漂亮亮的，妳則以噗通掉到一塘泥淖裡謝謝她
當妳六歲時，她帶妳去學校，妳則以尖叫"我不去"來謝謝她
當妳七歲時，她給妳個棒球，妳則以打破鄰居的窗戶來謝謝她
當妳八歲時，她給妳個冰淇淋，妳以滿嘴的奶昔來謝謝她
當妳九歲時，她讓妳學鋼琴，妳則以不曾練習來謝謝她
當妳十歲時，她整天載妳去上體育踢足球及參加一個接著一個的生日Party，妳則以頭也不回的跳出車外來謝 她



當妳十一歲時，她帶妳和妳的朋友去看電影時，妳則以要求她坐在不同排來謝謝她
當妳十二歲時，她警告妳不要看某些TV Shows時，妳則以等到她離開時注視這些TV Shows來謝謝她
當妳十三歲的青少年時期，她建議妳要去剪個頭髮時，妳則以告訴她她一點品味都沒有，來謝謝她
當妳十四歲時，她讓妳去夏令營，妳則以忘了寫封家書來謝謝她
當妳十五歲時，她工作回來並期待一個擁抱，妳則以房門深鎖來謝謝她
當妳十六歲時，她教妳如何開車，妳以儘妳所能的到處冒險來謝她
當妳十七歲時，她正在等一個重要的電話時，妳則以整夜電話中來謝謝她
當妳十八歲時，她讓妳去受高中教育，妳則以外宿,到天明來謝謝她
愈來愈大，妳已經十九歲，她讓妳去念個大學，載妳去學校，帶著妳的袋子，妳則以在宿舍門外，怕她會讓妳在妳 朋友面前蒙羞，就趕緊說再見的方式來答謝她
當妳已二十歲，她問妳是否有約會，妳則以"那不關妳的事"來答謝她



當妳二十一歲，她建議妳讓為妳的未來找個好工作時，妳則以"我才不想像妳一樣"的口氣來答謝她
當妳二十二歲，她在妳的畢業典禮緊緊的擁抱妳，妳則問她是否要付錢讓妳去歐洲遊學來謝謝她
當妳二十三歲，她替妳的新公寓買個傢俱，妳則告訴妳的朋友，它實在是醜的不像話，的方式來謝謝 她
當妳二十四歲，她問妳有關妳的經濟及妳未來的計劃，妳則是拖長聲音的回謝她，"媽......媽，妳也拜託一下好不好"
當妳二十五歲，她資助妳的婚禮及高興的哭著對妳說，她有多愛妳，妳則以搬離半個國家的距離隔絕她的方式來謝 謝她
當妳已三十歲，她跟妳說她想要有個孫子可以抱，妳則是非常謝謝她的跟她說，"時代不同，世事皆非了"



當妳已四十歲，她提醒妳要記得一個親人的生日，妳則是謝謝她的告訴妳，妳"現在真的真的很忙"



當妳五十歲了，她身體不適而且需要妳多多關心她，妳則是以自己已是深責大任的父母來回謝她



然而，有一天她死了，妳則發現妳未替她做到任何事，讓我們花些時間為我們所稱呼的"媽"，關心，付出，僅管有些人可能無法對他們的母親說出他們的愛．但她是無法取代的，因為它是獨一無二的感情也 許，她不是妳最好的朋友，也許有些想法真的與妳不同，但她仍然是妳的母親！



她總是在這裡聽妳訴說妳的喜怒哀樂，但問問妳自己吧！妳可有花足夠時間陪陪她？聽她說看看她在廚房的困擾及 疲勞？以貼心，愛心，尊重的心來對待她時，妳會發現妳會看到不同的觀點．



一旦錯失了，將只有美好回憶陪伴著妳，而過去的遺憾也是不要將最貼心的人視為理所當然，請一輩子緊緊守住她 們，假若沒有她們，生命將頓時失去意義。



PS:如果你(&#22963也認同這些話,趕緊把這封信轉寄給別人吧




有很多的事情，都是非得等到長大了才會明白,

更正確的說，是失去後才會明白，

[Aquarian]

A great note for all to read it will take just 37
seconds to read this and change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same
hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his
bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid
from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only
window. The other man had to spend all his time flat
on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They
spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their
jobs, their involvement in the military service, where
they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window
could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to
his roommate all the things he could see outside the
window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one
hour periods where his world would be broadened and
enlivened by all the activity and color of the world
outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks
and swans played on the water while children sailed
their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm
amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the
city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in
exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the
room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque
scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a
parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he
could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by
the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for
their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man
by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to
take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked
if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was
happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was
comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow
to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window
beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what
could have compelled his deceased roommate who had
described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could
not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."


Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things
you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

Yesterday is a memory
Tomorrow is an unknown
Now is the knowing...

Its Nice 2 BE Important but its more Important 2 Be NICE

[Aquarian]

very true indeed, this may sound morbid but we fool ourselves everyday when we watch the Weather forecast on the news each day for tomorrow weather thinking that tomorrow is a certainty. But it may not be, just like the thousands who perishes on the WTC, they would not have imagine tomorrow is their last day on earth when they watchrd the news the day before!!

Cherish Today !!!

[Theo9902]

住飯店and 坐車 (第五點尤其重要)女性同胞們要要求你傻傻的另一半保護你喔
寧願老公被載走也不要自己被載走~
呼~~以前就聽說過…夫妻去泰國玩…計程車司機騙老公下車幫忙推車
然後就把老婆載走的事情~~...
老公苦尋不到人..回國後…居然看到女人然被輪姦ㄉA片…而女主角竟是自己老婆 !!
天哪!!我還記得我當時聽完ㄉ感覺…..真ㄉ是在皮皮抓~~...~~>_<~~… !!!

前一陣子去上國際禮儀的課程，在其中一堂「觀光禮儀」課程中，老師特別告訴我們一些在旅遊中要注意的事項， 讓我獲益許多，也一直很想找機會分享給各位，就趁著 轉寄這封mail的機會告訴各位：

一、到達下塌的飯店時，要注意 不要把行李牌上的姓名那一面露出來，因為有許多不 肖分子就是利用行李牌上的姓名來獲取「下手對象」的相關資料的。

二、有經驗的導遊應該都是在遊覽車上分配房間號碼，而不是在到達飯店後或是在有團員之外的其他人在的公開場 合分配，因為導遊大聲唱名分配房間號碼時，旁邊 別有居心的人可能正好趁機記下連同姓名、房號等資料，然後便可採行同本篇e-mail內的壞人所使用的技倆，輕輕鬆鬆地進入「下手對象」的房間。

三、一起同行的朋友，不 要在飯店大廳等公開場合，大聲地連名帶姓問對方：「張 三，你幾號房？」「我214啦！啊老李，你呢？」「我哦，我316啊...」， 一來一往之間，一旁伺機而動的壞人早已輕鬆獲知大家的姓名及房號，不論要 色或財都是輕而易舉的事。

四、以上注意事項不限於本國，亦適用於語言不通的國外，原因在於每個國家的觀光飯店都有固定做某幾個國家的 生意，也就是台灣團的可能都固定住哪幾家飯店， 美國團的可能又是固定住哪幾家飯店，因此同一個飯店內住宿的可能大部份都是來自同一個國家的人，所以即使你 用本國語大聲互喊房間號碼，可能除了同團的 人之外，飯店內其他的人都聽得懂。

五、一般搭車，禮貌上，應該要請女士先入座，但若碰上搭計程車的時候，還是應由 男士先入座較妥，因為...女生比較值錢 (這是老師說的)，有時候女生一進入 車內，司機就馬上把車開走了........ ，這是發生在一對至東南亞度蜜月的新婚 夫妻身上的事，那個被司機載走的太太再也沒有找回來了 ....很可怕的....。

我從懂事開始，平常在國內不得已要坐計程車時，也都盡量不坐裡面或是盡量坐靠車門的外邊，只是直覺上會擔心 發生那種我一入座或是坐門口的朋友下車而我 還來不及下車時，會不幸被司機載走的事，我想可能跟我天生缺乏安全感有關吧！

女生出去旅行要注意安全~!!
這是關於飯店安全的文章，請牢記在心並轉寄給可能會單獨旅行的女性朋友
(原文為第一人稱) 。
我去旅行時都會用客房服務點早餐。最近我住進一家知名飯店我也點用了客房服務，然後把寫了我的order的 紙條放在門外。這張紙條上會寫住在房間裡面的人的名字點用 幾人份的餐點房間號碼和需要送達的時間等等。我把這紙條放在門外讓收集的人來收而這完全是個錯誤~!!我就 這樣讓『有需要的人』輕易得到他所有需要的資訊。

這個心懷不軌的人拿到了我的名字和房間號碼然後去跟櫃檯說他是我老公 (紙條上會 寫『一個』『女生』的名字 ) 而他需要一把新鑰匙。結果那個櫃檯人員.......連問他
的身分證號碼或是打電話跟我確認都沒有就給了他我房間的鑰匙~!!!

凌晨兩點，我被開門的聲音驚醒。很幸運的，我除了鎖門外還有把門鏈掛上 (讓門即
使鎖可以開也只能開一條縫的鍊子)，而我看見一隻男人的手在嚐試著把那個門鏈拿下 來。我開始大叫，告訴那個人我正在通知警察。那個人關上門離開了。

我打電話去給大廳的櫃檯告訴他們這事想要通知安全部門注意這個意外櫃檯人員
說........ 『哦，那真是抱歉』就掛了電話，之後的時間我是在又驚又怒中度過的。
隔天早上，我告訴那個驚訝的眼睛要掉出來的飯店經理，他的手下就這樣輕易的把我
的房間鑰匙給了一個連身分都沒有先經過確認的陌生人。

而我現在很慶幸我還能安好的打這篇文章，告訴你們這些事我不想去想像，要是那一
晚我沒有把門鏈掛上的後果。

[Theo9902]

前陣子台中幼稚園娃娃車的不幸事件，大家應該還記得，


相信為人父母者，看到這個不幸消息，都會萬分的不捨，

當我在網路上看到這個方法時，好高興喔！

忍不住想與大家分享！

************************************************** ******************************


小孩關在車內如何求救？／陳凱劭撰

前陣子台中有家幼稚園娃娃車，司機及隨車幼教老師不慎把一個小孩遺忘在車上，

結果小孩在車上關了一整天，車子又在大太陽底下晒了一整天，

到下午打開車門時，小孩早就晒死（或悶死）了。

一般夏日氣溫約是30-35度，汽車內部的溫度因溫室效應及車體吸熱，有可能衝到60-70度。

一般大人在這種環境根本撐不到20分鐘，何況是小孩。

其實這種事不是第一次發生。國內外早有類似案例。

例如家長去有停車場 的超市買東西，以為只要十分鐘，就把小孩丟車上不管，

結果買東西時遇到熟 人，談事情花了很長時間，回到車上小孩已不省人事了；

又如下車到ATM領錢，以為只要兩分鐘，結果ATM故障，於是走到幾個Block以外的ATM碰運氣，這一 來一往就花了20分鐘；

也曾發生過臨時停車，停在紅線上，結果短短幾分鐘車子被違規拖吊的吊走， 小孩還在裡面，追到拖吊專用停車場時已是40分鐘後了。

別以為不可能，這種意外沒有一種是故意的，但還是發生了。

一般有小孩的父母當然會記得在下車時順便帶小孩下車，

但你家的小孩不 得只會坐你的車，他們也有機會去坐別人的車，去坐幼稚園或學校的車，去坐遊覽車。


我想了很久，想出一個方法：

就是平時要訓練小孩，若被關在車內時若要求救，

要教他去按駕駛座上方向盤的喇叭！

以台中娃娃車的例子來說，那種娃娃車車門別說是小孩，

連大人都不一定有力氣及技巧自己打開，平常鎖住的小客車可能無法自內部開啟。

如果小孩在裡面感覺異狀，拍打車窗，若汽車玻璃太黑，

或沒有人經過又 向汽車內部窺探； 根本不會有人知道裡面有人亟待救援。

根據報導，台中這個案子，車窗上佈滿著拍打的痕跡甚至血跡，

表示小孩曾做最後掙扎。

我提出來的求救方法，關鍵在一般的汽車，即使鑰匙取出，或整部車鎖住，

一般而言喇叭的電源並沒有關。

也就是說，小孩去按喇叭，是惟一有效可以對外呼救的方法。

而且這方法非常簡單，不需要力氣，也不需要特別技巧。

但事前一定要訓 練。

一般兩歲以上小孩應該就可以訓練，這種常識一直到十歲都有需要。

一部停在太陽下的汽車若喇叭一直亂響，

一定可以引來週圍一百公尺內的 人去探究竟。

如果小孩被困在裡面，外面有大人當然就有機會救出小孩，

例如以磚塊石

頭打破車窗，或根據車上的電話、車上塗裝之類資訊去緊急通知車主。

如果您覺得這個方法不錯，麻煩轉寄給您的朋友喔！

[nim75sg]

Can we have a translator here? :D

[Theo9902]

haha, I think the article is teaching us to train my children to horn if ever they are left alone in the car.......

Can we have a translator here? :D

[nim75sg]

So that is the moral of the whole script ... then say so lor instead of using so many words. :D

[Theo9902]

i will let the author know when I meet him/her in Taiwan soon :D

So that is the moral of the whole script ... then say so lor instead of using so many words. :D

[Theo9902]

I received this message to my company email account this morning:

"Hello! My name is Yekaterina. I'm 27 years old and I'm from Russia. I live in Russia now and work as an English teacher at school. Unfortunately it's impossible to find a worthy man here, so, that's why I decided to search my secong half through the Internet. Maybe it sounds silly, but I want to find my love so much! I want to tell that I'm not looking for the man who is reach with money, but with soul and heart. If you are interested by my letter, than please, write me an answer on my e-mail address: yeka096@gawab.com I will wait for your respond with impatience and hope! "

Got pictures somemore:

[Theo9902]

ONE more picture here:

[Theo9902]

Subject: Fw: Panadol extra

Today in the local news paper there is warning not to purchase "Panadol Extra - Batch No.: 050292". This Panadol shipment has been exposed in the heated area at W/H, if the person takes one capsule it will affect his kidney and may damage it. Take care.

The original code # is 050208. Please share with everyone you know.

Very Important:
DO NOT take panadol unless you really need it and the pain is too much, because panadol has effects on the liver functions.

Take care

Please send it to your friends.

[SniperY]

I received this message to my company email account this morning:

"Hello! My name is Yekaterina. I'm 27 years old and I'm from Russia. I live in Russia now and work as an English teacher at school. Unfortunately it's impossible to find a worthy man here, so, that's why I decided to search my secong half through the Internet. Maybe it sounds silly, but I want to find my love so much! I want to tell that I'm not looking for the man who is reach with money, but with soul and heart. If you are interested by my letter, than please, write me an answer on my e-mail address: yeka096@gawab.com I will wait for your respond with impatience and hope! "

Got pictures somemore:In the world where got such big free buffet one :D

[Theo9902]

u never know until you try? :D

In the world where got such big free buffet one :D

[Aquarian]

she said reach in money not rich in money, we can try our luck lor ;)

In the world where got such big free buffet one :D

[Theo9902]

ya, those want to try their luck, just send her an email to test her out :D

she said reach in money not rich in money, we can try our luck lor ;)

[Aquarian]

you go first lah, since she sent to you :P

ya, those want to try their luck, just send her an email to test her out :D

[Theo9902]

i am not interested in ang mo mah :D

you go first lah, since she sent to you :P

[Theo9902]

USB Disk.........

[Aquarian]

where u get these pics from???

[Theo9902]

someone sent to me via email :)

where u get these pics from???

[Aquarian]

dangerous if u have small kids around :)

[SniperY]

Very innovative lei :)

[SniperY]

dangerous if u have small kids around :)I believe nowaday the children is smart enough to different btw a real food and a fake one lah :)

[Aquarian]

i am talking about those below 3 lah, colourful, attractive and looks like food ;)

I believe nowaday the children is smart enough to different btw a real food and a fake one lah :)

[Theo9902]

suprised me with the high percentage in the following survey? :(


(Zaobao.com 网上调查结果不具科学性与普遍代表性)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


投票结果

对李敖说“新加坡人笨”，你认为：

说得好 76.24%
有一定道理但不确切 1.87%
一派胡言 21.03%
无厘头 0.86%

投票总数：409797

[SniperY]

suprised me with the high percentage in the following survey? :(


(Zaobao.com ?????????????????)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


????

????“?????”?????

??? 76.24%
????????? 1.87%
???? 21.03%
??? 0.86%

?????409797Guess what i saw on my screen??? is all the ????? 76.24% ?????????1.87% :D

[Theo9902]

u mean you can't see all the chinese words?

I can and I did not use any chinese software.

Guess what i saw on my screen??? is all the ????? 76.24% ?????????1.87% :D

[Theo9902]

Nice games, need lots of practice :D

http://www.ezonlinegames.com/game/1754/Lust-for-Bust.html

[Theo9902]

Just nice for our lunch:

[Theo9902]

Schnappi Game

Try this, it's fund when you have nothing better to do. :D

http://www.umtv.co.uk/schnappi/

[Aquarian]

bro, so good, get paid to play games ;)

[Theo9902]

I am sure you are paid to do many other tasks too right? :D

And those tasks are definitely not listed in your job duties and responsibilities :eek:

bro, so good, get paid to play games ;)

[Theo9902]

On Thursday 4th May, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be


01:02:03 04/05/06

This will not ever happen again!

[Theo9902]

母亲一生中的八个谎言！

儿时，小男孩家很穷，吃饭时，饭常常不够吃，母亲就把自己碗里的饭分给孩子吃。母亲说，孩子们，快吃吧，我 不饿！——母亲撒的第一个谎.

男孩长身体的时候，勤劳的母亲常用周日休息时间去县郊农村河沟里捞些鱼来给孩子们补钙。鱼很好吃，鱼汤也很 鲜。孩子们吃鱼的时候，母亲就在一旁啃鱼骨头，用舌头舔鱼骨头上的肉渍。男孩心疼，就把自己碗里的鱼夹到母 亲碗里，请母亲吃鱼。母亲不吃，母亲又用筷子把鱼夹回男孩的碗里。母亲说，孩子，快吃吧，我不爱吃鱼！—— 母亲撒的第二个谎。

上初中了，为了缴够男孩和哥姐的学费，当缝纫工的母亲就去居委会领些火柴盒拿回家来，晚上糊了挣点分分钱补 点家用。有个冬天，男孩半夜醒来，看到母亲还躬着身子在油灯下糊火柴盒。男孩说，母亲，睡了吧，明早您还要 上班呢。母亲笑笑，说，孩子，快睡吧，我不困！——母亲撒的第三个谎。

高考那年，母亲请了假天天站在考点门口为参加高考的男孩助阵。时逢盛夏，烈日当头，固执的母亲在烈日下一站 就是几个小时。考试结束的铃声响了，母亲迎上去递过一杯用罐头瓶泡好的浓茶叮嘱孩子喝了，茶亦浓，情更浓。 望着母亲干裂的嘴唇和满头的汗珠，男孩将手中的罐头瓶反递过去请母亲喝。母亲说，孩子，快喝吧，我不渴！— —母亲撒的第四个谎。

父亲病逝之后，母亲又当爹又当娘，*着自己在缝纫社里那点微薄收入含辛茹苦拉扯着几个孩子，供他们念书，日 子过得苦不堪言。胡同路口电线杆下修表的李叔叔知道后，大事小事就找岔过来打个帮手，搬搬煤，挑挑水，送些 钱粮来帮补男孩的家里。人非草木，孰能无情。左邻右舍对此看在眼里，记在心里，都劝母亲再嫁，何必苦了自己 。然而母亲多年来却守身如玉，始终不嫁，别人再劝，母亲也断然不听，母亲说，我不爱！——母亲撒的第五个谎 。

男孩和她的哥姐大学毕业参加工作后，下了岗的母亲就在附近农贸市场摆了个小摊维持生活。身在外地工作的孩子 们知道后就常常寄钱回来补贴母亲，母亲坚决不要，并将钱退了回去。母亲说，我有钱！——母亲撒的第六个谎。

男孩留校任教两年，后又考取了美国一所名牌大学的博士生，毕业后留在美国一家科研机构工作，待遇相当丰厚， 条件好了，身在异国的男孩想把母亲接来享享清福却被老人回绝了。母亲说，我不习惯！——母亲撒的第七个谎。

晚年，母亲患了胃癌，住进了医院，远在大西洋彼岸的男孩乘飞机赶回来时，术后的母亲已是奄奄一息了。母亲老 了，望着被病魔折磨得死去活来的母亲，男孩悲痛欲绝，潸然泪下。母亲却说，孩子，别哭，我不疼。——母亲撒 的第八个谎。

[nim75sg]

Need a translator here ....:(

[Aquarian]

never too old to learn ;)

Need a translator here ....:(

[Theo9902]

last time asked you to study, you played goli :D

Need a translator here ....:(

[Theo9902]

Female Toilets:

[Theo9902]

Male Toilets:

[Aquarian]

very creative indeed ;)

Male Toilets:

[Theo9902]

oh yes, Thai is very good in it :)

very creative indeed ;)

[Aquarian]

even the background of the poster matches that of the wall

oh yes, Thai is very good in it :)

[Theo9902]

What does marriage mean?

[Aquarian]

that is really good one and cute too

What does marriage mean?

[Theo9902]

a bit too small to view right?

the original pictures are big enuf but due to the attachement requirement here, I have to reduce the sizes.

that is really good one and cute too

[Aquarian]

if i can see, others should have no problem lah

a bit too small to view right?

the original pictures are big enuf but due to the attachement requirement here, I have to reduce the sizes.

[Theo9902]

time for your to wear "Old Flower" glasses liao :D

if i can see, others should have no problem lah

[Theo9902]

Up Up and Up............... :(

[SniperY]

Male Toilets:Very funny man!

[Regional]

Thanks for sharing.

[Theo9902]

..twister!!!!....really happened di Kudat, Sabah (150km from K. Kinabalu) on the 7 June 2006 (Wed) at 5.30pm. Berlangsung selama sejam lebih tetapi tidak ke daratan cuma di tepian pantai Kudat sahaja....Imagine kalau ke darat......!!!

[Theo9902]

I might add it takes approximately 2 minutes of speaking on a cellular phone for the radiation to cross the protective Blood Brain Barrier. So whenever there is a landline available, use it in preference to your cell.

Enjoy the interesting article I received from the Raw Family...
How Two Russian Journalists Cooked an Egg with their Mobile Phones

Vladimir Lagovski and Andrei Moiseynko from Komsomolskaya Pravda Newspaper in Moscow decided to learn first-hand how harmful cell phones are. There is no magic in cooking with your cell phone. The secret is in the radio waves that the cell phone radiates.

The journalists created a simple microwave structure as shown in the picture. They called from one cell phone to the other and left both phones on talking mode. They placed a tape recorder next to phones to imitate sounds of speaking so the phones would stay on.

After, 15 minutes: The egg became slightly warm.

25 minutes: The egg became very warm.

40 minutes: The egg became very hot.

65 minutes: The egg was cooked. (As you can see.)

Conclusion 1: Cooking eggs with mobile phones is possible but very expensive ($4.55 or 123 Rubles)

Conclusion 2: All this talk of danger is exaggerated; even if your brain gets cooked, it would take a couple hours of talking on a cell phone.

Conclusion 3: We do not recommend carrying cell phone in your pants.

Photos by Anatoly Zhdanov.

Translated into English by Victoria Boutenko.

Source: Komsomolskaya Pravda, April 23, 2006
http://www.kp.ru/daily/23694.4/52233/print

[Theo9902]

My friend sent me a picture of this building. It is an awsome sight.

Subject: World's Tallest Building...

You may have seen this structure before, but it can still get your
attention.

Did you know that the tallest building in the world is in Canada?

It's called the Canada National Tower in Toronto, and is used for
telecommunications.

It's height: 553.33 meters or 1,815 feet and 5 inches, so you know it
has been photographed a lot.

As you all know, I am a big fan of architecture so I have gone back
and looked at this picture several times.

It's truly amazing. See for yourself....

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[Theo9902]

WELCOME...Island near Phuket......Just grand opened

:D

[Regional]

Seems like a nice place to relax.

[Aquarian]

nice place, must go, have not been since my honeymoon ;)

[bai]

wow nice leh.........wats the price for going there???:D :D

[Theo9902]

more than just to relax...... lots of happenings in the main island of Phuket :D

Seems like a nice place to relax.

[Theo9902]

whao :eek: 20 years ago? You are too much lah brother. How your OC forgive you. I go with my OC at least once a year.

nice place, must go, have not been since my honeymoon ;)

[Theo9902]

I will tell you after going there :D

wow nice leh.........wats the price for going there???:D :D

[Scrubby]

is that phi phi island? sure looks like phi phi to me. thought it suffered some damage when the tsunami struck?

[SniperY]

Indeed very nice place :)

[Theo9902]

Good place for the 2nd honey moon, right? :D

Indeed very nice place :)

[Regional]

Those ppl who love water sports will enjoy the most.:)

[Theo9902]

I think the water sports are much cheaper in Thailand's beaches as compare to those in SEA.

Those ppl who love water sports will enjoy the most.:)

[Aquarian]

where got 20 years??? I have not been married for that long lah !! :confused: :mad:

whao :eek: 20 years ago? You are too much lah brother. How your OC forgive you. I go with my OC at least once a year.

[Regional]

I think the water sports are much cheaper in Thailand's beaches as compare to those in SEA.

Go there relax also not bad.:)

[Theo9902]

sorry, wrong estimation? :rolleyes: :D

where got 20 years??? I have not been married for that long lah !! :confused: :mad:

[Theo9902]

Enjoy reading:

[Theo9902]

Lego Toy Church:

[Theo9902]

Some nice pictures to share:

[Theo9902]

This event happens in Kota Damansara Shell Station (the one opposite Palm Spring Condo, very near the Curve). There is a Scam and they targeted me in short.

First, i drive in to pump petrol as the red light already shown for quite sometime. while the pump is working hard to fill my new (old toyota SEG) car, a very young girl approach me (about 18 years old). she offer me a coupon saying it is a lucky draw from a Car servicing company. She shows me a piece of news paper with the lucky draw advertisement. Well...all she is trying to do is to convience me that this "lucky draw" is real. Well...it could be real at this moment.

So i take a coupon and open it. It says i won 6 prices + RM1000. That "girl" jump up and down and congratulate me. and ask me why am i not feeling happy? winning 6 prices with 1k is one of top prices! she said. well...i am still not convience.

Then another girl come and ask what happen and etc.. she also jumps. in less than 30 seconds, another girl came. no different she also jumps.

and because i was pumping petrol, the tank is filled and the shell staff is waiting for me to sign the Visa statement. so after signing it, the girls says that i should park my car and continue to discuss the winning process. Ok...i park my car nearer to the counter.

but when i just stop my car's engine, one of the girl opens my back passenger's door wanting to go in. i realise, i immediately walk out the car and lock it. (and i also shut the passenger door before i lock) -- Note, very difficult to get an unwanted human off a car :)

She said to have car air con inside, but i said car air con is not healty if the car is not moving, so better talk outside :)

ok, she starts to says 2 condition to win the price. i must take picture for the news paper because i won a grand price. second, i must take it with my car. ok....fine.

[Theo9902]

so then they drive a toyota UNSER car plate number WMM 8393 (black colour) beside my car. they say: "get in!lets go! we'll go to the office and get it done! and you get your price."

Huh?!? im going with your car? NO WAY! i response them like i am not free, i need to pack and get ready to go oversea. Well...i didnt lie, i am really going to pack for KK and go "oversea" to Sabah :)

So after a while of denying to get into the car, another guy came and join the crowd. This is where i confirm this whole thing is a scam.

1st: Why is it now? i ask the phone number they say i need to follow them in order to make the coupon valid.

2nd: this guy talks like a gangster. and he stare at me like he is going to eat me.

Thats it. i rush inside the shell counter and complain this to the staffs and manager. Then i saw the unser drove off while i was complaining.

So everyone...you know what to do. please help to broadcast this event. Protect your love ones.

[Theo9902]

LTA has contracted six traffic wardens ...
from a private company at $34,000 a year to take down the licence plate
number, make and colour of vehicles that intrude into bus lanes at peak
hours.

Take note of the operation hours :
Bus Lane operation hrs : 7.30 am to 9.30 am and 4.30 pm to 7pm (Weekdays)
7.30 am to 9.30 am & 11.30 am to 2 pm (Saturdays)

LTA has intensified their operations at the following areas :
1) Eunos Link
2) Hougang Ave 3
3) Jurong Town Hall Rd
4) Lorong Chuan
5) Orchard Rd
6) Upper Serangoon Rd
7) Upper Thomson Rd
8) Yishun Ave 2

Additional spots where speed traps were seen,
1) PIE towards airport near Toa Payoh exit, tripod mounted speed camera at
the pedestrain overhead bridge. 90km/h
2) PIE towards jurong near adam road exit, tripod mounted speed camera
over at Adam Road flyover. 90km/h
3) Bradell Road after Bishan Junction towards CTE, tripod mounted speed
camera at the pedestrain overhead bridge. 60/kmh
4) Queensway towards Bukit Merah, tripod mounted speed camera under tree
before Ridout McDonalds. 60km/h

Drive Carefully !

[Theo9902]

For those of you who missed the National Day fireworks:

http://www.mettleproduction.com/festival/fireworks.html


Enjoy!

[condor]

For those of you who missed the National Day fireworks:

http://www.mettleproduction.com/festival/fireworks.html


Enjoy!


Thanks for the pics
really very nice taken

[Theo9902]

i think watching live will be even better.

Thanks for the pics
really very nice taken

[Theo9902]

A man can go two weeks without eating. But if he doesn't rest at all, he can only survive for one week.

Sleeping provides us the time to rest our internal organs, eyes and brains. Poor sleep quality can cause internal damage to our internal organs and brains.

Therefore, sleeping is very important to us. If you wish to have a long life and stay healthy, please take note of the advice below.

5 DON'TS WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING

DON'T SLEEP NEXT TO WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting ****** cancer. So go to bed without it.

DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile? phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile?phone near you, switch it off first.

DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKEUP
People who sleep with makeup might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with makeup will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in?perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' SPOUSE
You may never wake up again.

[condor]

Who says our English is teruk?
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc.........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in
your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for
you.
Singaporeans: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments
ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter
through this door?
Singaporeans: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporeans: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the
issue.
Singaporeans: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to
concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I
know you?
Singaporeans: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Die-lah!!

[condor]

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Singaporeans: Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Singaporeans: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Singaporeans: What the f...!

[Theo9902]

THIS IS VERY INTERESTING

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments .

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

[Theo9902]

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received! in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace

Q Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

[Aquarian]

bro, u post this and yet you kena caught ;)

LTA has contracted six traffic wardens ...
from a private company at $34,000 a year to take down the licence plate
number, make and colour of vehicles that intrude into bus lanes at peak
hours.

Take note of the operation hours :
Bus Lane operation hrs : 7.30 am to 9.30 am and 4.30 pm to 7pm (Weekdays)
7.30 am to 9.30 am & 11.30 am to 2 pm (Saturdays)

LTA has intensified their operations at the following areas :
1) Eunos Link
2) Hougang Ave 3
3) Jurong Town Hall Rd
4) Lorong Chuan
5) Orchard Rd
6) Upper Serangoon Rd
7) Upper Thomson Rd
8) Yishun Ave 2

Additional spots where speed traps were seen,
1) PIE towards airport near Toa Payoh exit, tripod mounted speed camera at
the pedestrain overhead bridge. 90km/h
2) PIE towards jurong near adam road exit, tripod mounted speed camera
over at Adam Road flyover. 90km/h
3) Bradell Road after Bishan Junction towards CTE, tripod mounted speed
camera at the pedestrain overhead bridge. 60/kmh
4) Queensway towards Bukit Merah, tripod mounted speed camera under tree
before Ridout McDonalds. 60km/h

Drive Carefully !

[Theo9902]

don't suan me la.

btw, the spot where I kena caught was not listed above. Furthermore, I was caught by Traffic Police, not Traffic Warden :(

bro, u post this and yet you kena caught ;)

[Aquarian]

i think besides fine got point deduction too

don't suan me la.

btw, the spot where I kena caught was not listed above. Furthermore, I was caught by Traffic Police, not Traffic Warden :(

[Theo9902]

sure bo? :( how many points :eek:

i think besides fine got point deduction too

[Oscar77]

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in
your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for
you.
Singaporeans: No Stock.
Ah Beng : Boh

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments
ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
Ah Beng : siang page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: S-kew me
Ah Beng : Eh eh, halo

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans:No-need, lah.
Ah Beng : Mai ka limpek ***

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter
through this door?
Singaporeans: (pointing the door) can ar?
Ah Beng : ..... ( They just do it )

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Don't be shy, lah!
Ah beng : An lar, mang keh ki hor

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?
Ah Beng : Uh Yah boh

[Oscar77]

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporeans: Don't want la...
Ah Beng : Mai hai lipek ki si

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the
issue.
Singaporeans: You mad, ah?
Ah Beng : Kiang jiu ho, mai ke kiang hor

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to
concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Shut up lah!
Ah Beng : Ki Kiong Kan lar (Raising up the voice and even louder)

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I
know you?
Singaporeans: See what, see what?
Ah Beng : Kua simi Lan Jiao

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Die-lah!!
Ah Beng : Siao liao siao liao, taichi tua tiao liao

[condor]

Just wonder if
U are Ah Beng???!!!!
:D :D :D

[Oscar77]

Just wonder if
U are Ah Beng???!!!!
:D :D :D

You should know :D

[Theo9902]

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, start out dead and get it out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better
every day.. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and finally you finish off as an orgasm.

[Theo9902]

A good tip that I got from a friend who got the tip from a neighborhood watch coordinator.


"When someone is trying to get into your house, or if you hear a noise outside your house, " keep your car keys next to your bed on the night stand and just press the panic alarm on your car. It will go off from almost anywhere from inside your house and it will keep honking until your battery runs down, or until you reset it with the button on the key chain."


A lot of burglars will cut your telephone line before breaking in so this is a real good idea.



Could save your life.

[Aquarian]

what if u live on condo and ur car park is in the basement :D

anyway cut phone line is useless la, ppl carry hp nowadays

A good tip that I got from a friend who got the tip from a neighborhood watch coordinator.


"When someone is trying to get into your house, or if you hear a noise outside your house, " keep your car keys next to your bed on the night stand and just press the panic alarm on your car. It will go off from almost anywhere from inside your house and it will keep honking until your battery runs down, or until you reset it with the button on the key chain."


A lot of burglars will cut your telephone line before breaking in so this is a real good idea.



Could save your life.

[Theo9902]

u mean by staying in the condo, u still have security concern? :D

what if u live on condo and ur car park is in the basement :D

anyway cut phone line is useless la, ppl carry hp nowadays

[Theo9902]

Hilarious!

[Aquarian]

condo also can get breaking in, nothing is safe la

u mean by staying in the condo, u still have security concern? :D

[Theo9902]

at least one level more safety than us la .

condo also can get breaking in, nothing is safe la

[condor]

Goodbye, Mum
__________________________________________________ _______________

I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I noticed an old lady following me around. Thinking nothing of it, I ignored her and continued on.

Finally I went to the checkout line, but she got in front of me.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," I said to her, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye, Mum?' It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it. As the old woman was leaving, I called out, "Goodbye, Mum!"

As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $1027.50.

"How can that be?" I asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the cashier.

[Theo9902]

Stupid elevator with painted floor board to scare people

[SniperY]

Stupid elevator with painted floor board to scare peopleIf u dont tell it a painted one, really look scary man!
:hmmm:

[Theo9902]

Bottles decoration

[Theo9902]

Motocycle (Siam boleh)

[Theo9902]

Laser show in Hongkong

[Theo9902]

Beautiful Ice Sculptures

[condor]

Very impressive:surprise: :surprise: :surprise:
:cool: :cool: :cool:

[Theo9902]

Truck art from Germany

[SniperY]

Cool man! :cool:

[Theo9902]

yo yo yo yo........... :cool:

Cool man! :cool:

[Theo9902]

Kee's World - Malaysian way of life

[Theo9902]

Stars alike!

[Theo9902]

Something to share!

[Theo9902]

signs

signs

signs

signs

signs

[Theo9902]

Politics explained so ALL can understand! From a UGA professor no less!!!!!!!!! Sic em dawgs!

Drink-up!

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. What happens to the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The t enth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without hi m. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.

They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics, University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is n eeded.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

[Theo9902]

媽媽的帳單

好感人!心酸酸的,切記..把握當下!


小明家是經營餐廳生意，有時放學後他會到餐廳幫忙，招呼客人入座點菜收拾碗筷、算帳結帳。
他漸漸覺得自己似乎也成了一位生意人。
有一次，他忽然突發奇想，也開了一張帳單寄給媽媽，索取他在餐廳幫忙作事的酬勞。
幾天後，媽媽收到這份帳單，上面寫著：
１．洗碗盤費500元
２．掃地拖地費200元
３．送外食到顧客家300元
４．至郵局寄發信件帳單100元
５．小明一直是勤奮聽話的好孩子100元
共計1,200元

小明的媽仔細看過這份帳單後，什麼話也沒有說。

晚上小明在他的枕頭旁看到了他所索取的1,200元報酬。
正當他得意如願以償，要把1200元收到自己的口袋時，突然發現枕頭旁邊還放著一份給他的帳單 。

小明欠他母親如下款項：

１．在母親家裡過十年平安無憂的生活費用0元
２．十年中，食、衣、住、行的費用0元
３．上學的學費、書籍費0元
４．生病時的醫藥、照顧費0元
５．有一個慈愛的母親0元
小明讀著讀著，感到羞愧萬分！
過了一會兒，他懷著一顆忐忑不安的心;躡手躡腳地走近母親，將小臉藏進母親的懷中，小心翼翼地把那1,20 0元塞進了她的圍裙口袋裡。




對媽媽好一點






很棒的文章----
看完後要對媽媽好一點，珍惜愛妳的人，

當妳來到這個世界，她以手臂輕抱妳．妳則以哭個像妖怪的聲音來謝謝她

當妳一歲時，她餵妳也替妳洗澡，妳則以長夜大哭來謝謝她

當妳二歲時，她教妳走路，妳會謝謝她，當她叫時溜得特別快

當妳三歲時，她滿懷愛心的做飯給妳吃，妳則以滿地食物來謝謝她

當妳四歲時，她教妳繪畫，妳則以滿間的彩色來謝謝她

當妳五歲時，她在假日將妳打扮的漂漂亮亮的，妳則以噗通掉到一塘泥淖裡謝謝她

當妳六歲時，她帶妳去學校，妳則以尖叫"我不去"來謝謝她

當妳七歲時，她給妳個棒球，妳則以打破鄰居的窗戶來謝謝她

當妳八歲時，她給妳個冰淇淋，妳以滿嘴的奶昔來謝謝她

當妳九歲時，她讓妳學鋼琴，妳則以不曾練習來謝謝她

當妳十歲時，她整天載妳去上體育踢足球及參加一個接著一個的生日Party，妳則以頭也不回的跳出車外來謝 她

當妳十一歲時，她帶妳和妳的朋友去看電影時，妳則以要求她坐在不同排來謝謝她

當妳十二歲時，她警告妳不要看某些TV Shows時，妳則以等到她離開時注視這些TV Shows來謝謝她

當妳十三歲的青少年時期，她建議妳要去剪個頭髮時，妳則以告訴她她一點品味都沒有，來謝謝她

當妳十四歲時，她讓妳去夏令營，妳則以忘了寫封家書來謝謝她

當妳十五歲時，她工作回來並期待一個擁抱，妳則以房門深鎖來謝謝她

當妳十六歲時，她教妳如何開車，妳以儘妳所能的到處冒險來謝她

當妳十七歲時，她正在等一個重要的電話時，妳則以整夜電話中來謝謝她

當妳十八歲時，她讓妳去受高中教育，妳則以外宿,到天明來謝謝她

愈來愈大，妳已經十九歲，她讓妳去念個大學，載妳去學校，帶著妳的袋子，妳則以在宿舍門外，怕她會讓妳在妳 朋友面前蒙羞，就趕緊說再見的方式來答謝她

當妳已二十歲，她問妳是否有約會，妳則以"那不關妳的事"來答謝她

當妳二十一歲，她建議妳讓為妳的未來找個好工作時，妳則以"我才不想像妳一樣"的口氣來答謝她

當妳二十二歲，她在妳的畢業典禮緊緊的擁抱妳，妳則問她是否要付錢讓妳去歐洲遊學來謝謝她

當妳二十三歲，她替妳的新公寓買個傢俱，妳則告訴妳的朋友，它實在是醜的不像話，的方式來謝謝 她

當妳二十四歲，她問妳有關妳的經濟及妳未來的計劃，妳則是拖長聲音的回謝她，"媽......媽，妳也拜託一下好不好"

當妳二十五歲，她資助妳的婚禮及高興的哭著對妳說，她有多愛妳，妳則以搬離半個國家的距離隔絕她的方式來謝 謝她

當妳已三十歲，她跟妳說她想要有個孫子可以抱，妳則是非常謝謝她的跟她說，"時代不同，世事皆非了"

當妳已四十歲，她提醒妳要記得一個親人的生日，妳則是謝謝她的告訴妳，妳"現在真的真的很忙"

當妳五十歲了，她身體不適而且需要妳多多關心她，妳則是以自己已是深責大任的父母來回謝她

然而，有一天她死了，妳則發現妳未替她做到任何事，讓我們花些時間為我們所稱呼的"媽"，關心，付出，僅管有些人可能無法對他們的母親說出他們的愛．但她是無法取代的，因為它是獨一無二的感情也 許，她不是妳最好的朋友，也許有些想法真的與妳不同，但她仍然是妳的母親！
她總是在這裡聽妳訴說妳的喜怒哀樂，但問問妳自己吧！妳可有花足夠時間陪陪她？聽她說看看她在廚房的困擾及 疲勞？以貼心，愛心，尊重的心來對待她時，妳會發現妳會看到不同的觀點．
一旦錯失了，將只有美好回憶陪伴著妳，而過去的遺憾也是不要將最貼心的人視為理所當然，請一輩子緊緊守住她 們，假若沒有她們，生命將頓時失去意義。
PS:如果你(妳)也認同這些話,趕緊把這封信轉寄給別人吧




有很多的事情，都是非得等到長大了才會明白。
更正確的說，是失去後才會明白。
可過去的事卻再也無法重新來過，更令人悲傷的是，
有的時候，連想向當初所傷害的人、事、物說聲抱歉，都沒有辦法補救。

[Theo9902]

事情發生在美國的一所大學。
在快下課時教授對同學們說?'我和大家做個遊戲，誰願意配合我一下。'
一女生走上台來。
教授說?'請在黑板上寫下你難以割捨的二十個人的名字。'<b
女生照做了。有她的鄰居、朋友以、親人等等。
教授說?'請你劃掉一個這裏面你認為最不重要的人。'
女生劃掉了一個她鄰居的名字。
教授又說?'請你再劃掉一個。'
女生又劃掉了一個她的同事。
教授再說?'請你再劃掉一個。'
女生又劃掉了一個。 ......
最後，黑板上只剩下了三個人，她的父母、丈夫和孩子。
教室非常安靜，同學們靜靜的看著教授，感覺這似乎已不再是一個遊戲了。
教授平靜的說?'請再劃掉一個。'
女生遲疑著，艱難的做著選擇......
她舉起粉筆，劃掉了父母的名字。
'請再劃掉一個。'身邊又傳來了教授的聲音。
她驚呆了，顫巍巍地舉起粉筆緩慢而堅決的又劃掉了兒子的名字。
緊接著，她哇的一聲哭了，樣子非常痛苦。
教授等她平靜了一下，問道?'和你最親的人應該是你的父母和你的孩子，因為父母是養育的人，孩子是你親生的 ，而丈夫是可以重新再尋找的，為什麼丈夫反倒是你最難割捨的人呢？'
同學們靜靜地看著她，等待著她的回答。
女生平靜而又緩慢地說道?'隨著時間的推移，父母會先我而去，孩子長大成人後肯定也會離我而去，真正陪伴我 度過一生的只有 我的丈夫

[SniperY]

Walao! Just woke up thought of sharing what, skali bible again, worst Chinese........ :crying:

[Theo9902]

this one not Bible la... you print it out for our wife to read.. she will love you 10 times more :big_smile:

Walao! Just woke up thought of sharing what, skali bible again, worst Chinese........ :crying:

[Theo9902]

Something to share!

[SniperY]

Something to share!Good one! :big_smile:

[Theo9902]

This is the level of dedication we expect from all staff - keep up the good work!!!

[condor]

Moms will truly appreciate this one.......



Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favourite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :))
"Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"



Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

[Theo9902]

haha... that's a good one. You made my day, bro. :cool:

[Theo9902]

how come we don get such interesting news on ST?

[Mystique]

U have lots of semi boy's stuffs to crack the day.:stick_out_tongue:

[Theo9902]

to spice up the forum a bit.... if not too dry and too boring :big_smile:

U have lots of semi boy's stuffs to crack the day.:stick_out_tongue:

[Mystique]

to spice up the forum a bit.... if not too dry and too boring :big_smile:

thats good. but seems many do not chat in our chit chat forum. Maybe they have to taste your green tea and get use to the chit chat sessions.:big_smile:

[Theo9902]

or the starbuck coffee followed by mid-night movies .......... :big_smile:

thats good. but seems many do not chat in our chit chat forum. Maybe they have to taste your green tea and get use to the chit chat sessions.:big_smile:

[Mystique]

or the starbuck coffee followed by mid-night movies .......... :big_smile:

yeah, yeah. I'm very excited for this week fri movie and you are definately not gonna have my appointment for green tea.

I'm excited to watch The Incredible Hulk! haha, my childhood marvel craze.:wink: :big_smile:

[Theo9902]

ya, you shall continue to fulfill your childhood thrills while I shall lock in my time for Euro 2008 ............... :big_smile:

yeah, yeah. I'm very excited for this week fri movie and you are definately not gonna have my appointment for green tea.

I'm excited to watch The Incredible Hulk! haha, my childhood marvel craze.:wink: :big_smile:

[Theo9902]

中國人和馬來西亞華人‏

中國人 ：今晚你有空嗎？我沒空！
馬來西亞華人 ：今晚你得不得空？我不得空！


中國人 ：餅干受潮了…。
馬來西亞華人 ：餅干'漏風'了…。

中國人 ：從上海去蘇州要多少個小時？
馬來西亞華人：從上海去蘇州要幾粒鍾？


中國人 ：難道他不可以來嗎？
馬來西亞華人：你不給他不來啊？

中國人 ：周傑倫不喜歡穿內褲。
馬來西亞華人：周傑倫不喜歡穿底褲。


中國人 ：我一向都是這樣的
馬來西亞人：我一路來都是這樣的啦

中國人 ：我的手機掉進溝渠了。
馬來西亞華人：我的手機掉進龍溝了。


中國人 ：這樣你不是很不值得嗎？
馬來西亞華人：這樣你'馬'很不 '歹'？

中國人 ：你真是聰明！
馬來西亞華人：你真是pan nai！(源自馬來語pandai，聰明的意思)


中國人 ：你安靜！
馬來西亞華人：你diam diam！(源自馬來語diam，安靜的意思)

中國人 ：我要去銀行取款。
馬來西亞華人：我要去銀行'按錢'。


中國人 ：為什麼？
馬來西亞華人：做麼？

中國人 ：你很強~
馬來西亞華人：你很夠力~

中國人 ：明天也叫他一起去吧！
馬來西亞華人：明天叫'埋'他一起去！


中國人 ：我很郁悶~~~
馬來西亞華人：我很'顯'（sien）啊~~~~（'顯'比郁悶的境界更高）

中國人 ：你再說我就打你！
馬來西亞華人：你再說我就hood你！（有點粗俗的）


中國人 ：你在說什麼？
馬來西亞華人：你在說sommok？

中國人 ：你不要令我丟臉~
馬來西亞華人：你不要'下水'我~


中國人 ：真被你氣到…。
馬來西亞華人：被你炸到…。

中國人 ：你別亂來~
馬來西亞華人：你表亂亂來~


中國人 ：你很無聊
馬來西亞華人：你很廢

中國人 ：XX你
馬來西亞華人：Kanasai（意思是像大便一樣，罵人的話）

中國人 ：迫切
馬來西亞華人：bek chek


中國人 ：我們一起吃這碗面~
馬來西亞華人：我們'公司'吃這碗面~（源自馬來語的kongsi，就是一起分享的意思）

中國人 ：我們結婚吧！
馬來西亞華人：我們結'分'吧！（'婚'字受粵語影響，所以音不標准）

中國人 ：今天的天氣很熱~
馬來西亞華人：今天的天氣熱到。。。。。。。。。。。。。。~~~~~~~（'到'字要拉長，然後沒有下文 了）

中國人 ：哇!
馬來西亞華人：哇撈weh!!!!

中國人 ：我受不了他！
馬來西亞華人：我behtahan他！

[Theo9902]

Some cake to share!

[Theo9902]

小学生造句‏

1.题目: 原来
小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下

2.题目: ..一边........... 一边............. ..
小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服 ,一边穿裤子.
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~~

3.题目: 其中
小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣？~~

4.题目: 一... 就....
小朋友写: 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师评语: 老师笑到不行..

5. 題目: 你看
小朋友写: 你看什么看! 没看过啊

6. 照样造句
例题: 你 (唱歌) 我(跳舞)
小朋友写 : 你(好吗 ) 我(很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗??

7.照样造句
例题: 别人都夸我( )，其实我( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 )，其实我( 是戴面具的)。
老师评语 : 什么面具这么好用???

8.题目: 好... 又好..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿,好细又好粗...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？

9.题目 : 陆陆续续
小朋友写: 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

10.题目: 皮开肉绽
小朋友写: 停电的夜晚，到处很黑，我吓得皮开肉绽!
老师评语: 看到这句... 老师佩服你。

11.题目: 欣欣向荣-比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗 ...
还有一个更瞎的…
小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语: 连续剧不要看太多~~

12. 题目: 谢谢....因为......
小朋友写 : 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

13.题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语 : 老师更难过......

14. 题目: 天才
小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~

15.題目: 一… 便 …
小朋友写: 我一走出门，对面就是便利商店。
还有一個更瞎的…
小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...

16.題目: 又..... 又 .....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语:你妈妈......是怪物吗?

17果然
上课小朋友说：昨天我吃了水果，然后又喝了凉水
老师：这是词组，不能分开造句。
小朋友又说：老师，我还没说完呢，果然晚上我拉肚子了！
老师：…………

18 瓜分
小朋友：大傻瓜分不清是非
老师：小傻瓜也分不清

19 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师： ………

20 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师：……………

[meng]

nice one!
very relaxing:geeked:
thks!:wink:

[Theo9902]

珍惜身邊人．．．．．

珍惜身邊人．．．．．

一頓歷時89分鐘,價值274元的晚餐。

一對男女戀人步出餐廳。

男的吃這頓飯吃得好辛苦,

因他85分鐘都用了來想著公司的那份計劃書該怎樣做,

幸好女的一點也不發覺他 心不在焉。

女的對男的說:「現在不算太晚,你不用送我了,我自己回家吧。」

明天就要交計劃書的男友,"立刻"答:

「好呀!那你小心點了,回家致電給我吧。再 見。」

男的飛快回家,去埋首他的工作,他不停的做直至電話響起。

他看看鐘原來已經半夜三點多,是誰這麼晚來電'

他接過電話, 原來是他的未來外母:

「我女兒現在還沒回家,你不是和她去了吃飯嗎'她怎樣了,我好怕.......」

男的才記起女的說回到家後會致電跟他報平安,

但現在已經夜半二、三時她為什麼還不回家。

男的心亂如麻,最後還是報警求助 。

去到警局,警員問他: [ 她失蹤時的衣著是'」

男的:「這...她......想不起來...」

警員:「不打緊,你先放鬆一下,那衣服的顏色總會記得吧'藍色' 紅色'」

男的:「我...我只想著份計劃書,吃飯也低下頭...我不曾看過她的...」

警員:「她的髮型呢'長髮'短髮'」

男的:「我跟她一起很多年了.我所以.怎麼她的東西我一點也想不起...」

警員:「你說她是你女友,你們最近很少見面嗎'

怎會連髮型也不知道,那她有帶首飾 , 手袋 嗎'」

男的也是無言以對。

離開警局,男的覺得很驚訝,驚訝他對女友的"不用心"。

多年來他已把愛情的感覺當成一種習慣,

就連對他的女友也"習以為常", 已經不把她放在心上了。

已過了三天,女的還是音訊全無,

這三天男的除了擔心女友的安危,就是不停的想:

「她的髮型、她的衣著,我怎會不知道的!我一定要記起來!」

這晚,男的經過一條幽黑、灰暗的長街,

竟看見女的就站在長街的盡頭。

男的高興得跑向她,想緊緊的擁抱她。

但走到女友的面前他就改變了主意,他雙手按著女友的肩膊,說:

「等一下,先不要動。讓我看清楚你,

你的頭髮、你的衣著,我要好好的記著。

回想起那晚,其實是你發現我還有工作在身,

想我早點回家工作而叫我不用送你的。

一直以來只有你還關心我的感受,而我卻不理會你。

但不要緊,我已知道應怎樣去愛你、珍惜你。

相信我,你的一切一切今後都會常在我心中的。」

女的:「你終於都懂得理會我的感受,

懂得珍惜我了...可惜已經太遲......」

男的忽然醒過來,原來剛才的是一場夢。

夢醒後男的努力去想,夢中女友的衣著、髮型,但還是記不起來.....

隔天,男的終於再見到他的女友,就是在警員帶他到殮房認屍的時候......

望著躺在停屍間的女友,男的哭著說:

「我終於知道你的髮型,衣著,我現在才真正的看真你。

我會記著的,永遠都會記著的...

我剛想到要珍惜你...你醒醒呀...

不要就這樣離開我好嗎......」

男的剛學會珍惜, 卻已後悔莫及。

現在他除了哭泣,就什麼都做不了......



也許你常發現我一直凝望著你!

你問我看什麼呢？

我笑笑的回答....沒什麼 ,

[meng]

no matter what happen
must know when to listen
where to see
how to understand
then our life will be meaningful
Life goes on!